Your shot at fame (sort of)

Have you always wanted to be in a rock band? Well, here’s your chance… sort of. Make your own CD Cover with the following steps and rocket yourself to multi-platinum status and start fending off the groupies.

1. Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2. Go to "Random quotations"or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php
3. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. 3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.
5. Post it to facebook with this text in the "caption" and TAG the friends you want to join in.

Here's my effort:

It's the Top 10 Top 10 lists from The Times.

I love The Times online, but there are Times (sorry) when their journalism is lazy.  If you type "top 10" site:timesonline.co.uk into Google, you'll see a list of over 15,700 'Top 10' style articles they've written over the years.  In fact, click here, damn it, I've saved you some typing and done it for you.

I have a degree of sympathy for the Times journos.  You can imagine the travel section editor saying: "I need an article about the world's most opulent hotels by the close of play today."  They could spend hours researching an article, interviewing former guests or employees; you know, doing some proper journalism... or they could just do a search for expensive hotels in tripadvisor (which is brilliant, by the way) or expedia, then cut and paste some blurb and hey presto!  Job done. Article written.  Voyez-vous dans le pub.  Of course, a lot of these lists are based on the opinion of the person writing them, and are therefore wholly subjective.  In fairness, some of them are genuinely useful; a lot of them are rubbish.

Just to show I'm not immune, here for your delight and delectation are my Top 10 list of pointless Times Online Top 10 articles.  Each one will bring untold richness to your life*:

1. The Top 25 Mustaches in pop.  Seriously.  I'm not making this up.  It's a proper Times article.  All I'll say is Freddie Mercury was robbed.
2. The Top 10 Bond locations.  I'm directing the remake of You Only Live Twice, so this will come in handy.  Oh no, wait.  I'm not.
3. The Top 10 best beards from Karl Marx to ZZ Top.  No comment.
4. The Top 10 poshest sports stars.  Does it matter?  Really?  Does it matter?  Does it matter, really?  Really? Does it matter?  No.  It does not.
5. Jeremy Beadle's Top 10 wind-ups.  From beyond the grave.  Mwah ha Ha HA!
6. The Top 10 most stylish protesters.  Because it's not about your cause; it's about how good you look.
7. The Top 10 most harderest to book restaurants in Britain. What's the point of publishing a list of places your unlikely to be able to book?
8. The Top 10 books NOT to read before you die.  Thanks for that.
9. The Top 10 European Legal Advisers.  Rock and indeed, Roll!
10. The Top 10 Dens of Iniquity.  Now that's more like it.

* List is not a guarantee of untold richness.

Theatre News, Christmas 2009

After something of a lull, there are two pieces of theatre news to tell you about today. As you may know, I have a long association with the Duchess Theatre in Long Eaton, and my next two shows will be performed there.

Fools Rush in by Kenneth Horne. November 12th, 13th and 14 2009. Although I'm not in this show in person, I will be providing the voice of the BBC Radio Announcer in this show which has 'more twists and turns than a row of knitting' (according to the promotional spiel). Please note this is a play reading.

Christmas Trimmings, December 19th 2009. I will be doing another one-man piece on Saturday December 19th in Christmas Trimmings at the Duchess Theatre in Long Eaton. More details to follow. http://duchess-theatre.com

There is also some news about some presenting work in 2010, but I will tell you about that nearer the time.

Tom Brown's Christmas Market 2009

Just a quick note to let you know a small selection of my photography work will be on display at the Tom Brown's Christmas Market in Gunthorpe all day on Saturday, December 5th 2009.  Details are here.  I should be in attendance, and I'm hoping you can make it and say hello.

A few holiday snaps.

Hello.  If you'd been wondering why things have been a little quiet, well, we're just back from holidays.  Here are a few of the shots I took whilst I was away in Whitby and Robin Hood's Bay.  I've also thrown one in of the Humber Bridge.

[Above]  This is my favourite.  No photoshopping here.  Whitby Harbour.

Whitby Harbour.

Solitude.

Robin Hood's Bay.

Humber Bridge.

Photography: Creatures.

Sorry it's been a little quiet of late. Here's some pictures I've taken recently from holiday:

Football crazy.

Scott plays with his balls.

Oscar award-winning acting.